I Miss the Before Times

Dear Friend,

I miss the before times.

I don’t say that out loud very often.

Not because it’s untrue…
But because it’s one of those things that sounds heavier than it actually is.

I’m not talking about going backward.
Or wishing things were different.

It’s more a quiet noticing that something has changed.

Before, everything needed to be shared.
Before we all had a version of ourselves somewhere online.
Before a moment could just… be a moment.

There was a kind of ease to that.

You sat at the table and stayed there.
You went somewhere and experienced it without thinking about how it might look.
You lived in the moment rather than slightly outside it.

Now it feels like something is always on.

Not loud.
Not overwhelming.

Just… there.

A subtle awareness that things can be seen, shared, commented on, and captured.

And I don’t think it’s all bad.

I’m not standing outside of it.
I’m in it too.

I’ve posted things.
Shared things.
Watched things.

But somewhere along the way, I realized…

I’m not buying into it the same way anymore.

I don’t feel the need to document everything.
Or make it look a certain way.
Or turn it into something polished and easy to consume.

This blog is probably the clearest example of that.

There’s no strategy here.
No perfectly curated version of anything.

Just me writing about what I notice.
What I see.
What feels true when I sit still long enough to pay attention.

I don’t want to be trendy.
Or trending.

That pace doesn’t fit the life I actually want.

And the life I want is… simpler than that.

Sunshine.
Water.
Dogs moving in and out like they own the place.
A little dirt under my nails.
Ole Miss sports playing in the background… or being at the Grove before a home game.
Knowing the people around me… and letting them know me too.

Nothing about that needs an audience.

I think that’s what I miss.

Not the past itself…
But the way things used to belong only to the moment.

I’m not leaving any of it.

I’m just holding a few things a little closer than I used to.

And letting them stay there.

—Tee